so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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