eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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