Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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