you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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