im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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