Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize