God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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