The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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