he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize