hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize