she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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