What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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