Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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