so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just invented taco cereal.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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