she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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