wanna go halves on a baby?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
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i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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