doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
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i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
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