his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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