he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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