so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize