i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
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Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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