He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
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I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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