remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Randomize