Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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