you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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