did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize