I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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