What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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