so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize