He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
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Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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