she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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