i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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