I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize