Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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