I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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