i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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