I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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