if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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