Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize