First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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