Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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