You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize