i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize