so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dicks are not precious.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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