I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize