So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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