Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize