we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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