Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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