you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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